Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Best Relationship Tip. Ever. (I'm So Modest)

Don't be 'too tired' for sex. Make it a priority.

Sex therapist Bettina Arndt caused a shitstorm for suggesting that women should 'put out' even when they don't feel like it...

E.g. For the ladies: "The right to say 'no' needs to give way to saying 'yes' more often."

I'm not going to go that far. And, I'm going to include men in the mix too.

My advice is to not say that you're "tired" at their suggestion of sex, earlier on in the night, and then spend the rest of the evening watching rubbish TV till 11.30pm, or mucking around in the shed, or playing PlayStation, or to get in bed, and want to talk for ages. You're supposed to be tired.

Sex is a form of affection and love if you're doing it right, and for you to say "No, I'm too tired" if you're not, is comparable to them being "too tired" to snuggle on the couch, or to listen to you. It's a rejection of a showing of love.

The message: if you're too tired, go to bed. Be consistent with what you're saying.

Otherwise, if you're both keen, have some sex.

PS. There's being actually 'too tired', and then there's being 'not in the mood'. If you're not in the mood, make it clear to your partner what they can do to put you in the mood. It's not overly complicated stuff. Sex should be fun and loving, and if it's not, you're doing it wrong.

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