Monday, April 2, 2012

Lovebite. Don't listen to Paula.

Here's a tip: Opposites might attract, but they don't last. And there's a huge body of psych research to support it.

I've first hand experience. I didn't care for watching sport every weekend. He did. Didn't last.

Think it's cute that they're fussy about ____, whereas you don't care about it in the slightest? Good luck with that.

Once the initial attraction has faded and you both want to do different things every weekend, it's no longer a barrel of fun, and you'll want to tell Paula Abdul to get lost.

There are enough people in the world that you're bound to find someone who shares your interests.

Find them and stick with them. Otherwise you're signing up for a life of win/lose, or at best - constant compromise.


Think hard, work hard.

Best to make a considered decision, and marry the right person.

Then, work hard at your marriage.

As the likelihood of divorce for your second (67%) and third (73%) marriages isn't awesome.

(USA stats)

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Lovebite. Phones. Email.

If you're checking their phone and email, they're untrustworthy.


You need to address your issues.

Either way; do something. Sort it.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Keep hot.


They fell in love with you because you were attractive, fun, smart. You put the effort in.

Are you still that person?


Get out of the ugg boots.

Lose the beer gut.

Be fun.

Keep learning.

Don't get too comfortable.

No effort = no love.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Little things are the BEST.

I love doing little things for the beau.

Whether it's opening the gate so he doesn't have to get out of the car when he gets home, or putting his towel in the dryer so it's warm, I'll regularly do tiny things to make his life easier.

Might sound submissive, but it's not. It shows him I love him. And he does the same.

If you're in love, you should want to make things easier for your partner.

So go on. Do something little.

Pick up the ingredients from the shop to save them a trip.

Get their keys and phone ready, so they don't have to go searching for them in the morning.

Record their favourite TV show if they're out.

Doing the little things means something BIG.

I've got a funny nose. And I don't care.

See this photo?

It's not a particularly nice one of either of us (Fiance is super, super hot).

Previously, it would never have made it to your computer screen, because of how funny my nose looks.

I've a ski-jump, and my profile is most interesting at the best of times. And as a result, for most of my life, I've been terribly self-conscious about it.

Now, I don't care.

When you're with someone who loves you, and who you love, you stop worrying about stupid things (like nose-profiles) because your love says and does things that make you feel pretty or handsome. And comfortable. And smart. And focused on things that really matter. 

Like being a rad person.

If the person you're with doesn't make you feel absolutely fantastic about the person you are... you should find someone who does.

Your ski-jump-nosed blogger x

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Best Relationship Tip. Ever. (I'm So Modest)

Don't be 'too tired' for sex. Make it a priority.

Sex therapist Bettina Arndt caused a shitstorm for suggesting that women should 'put out' even when they don't feel like it...

E.g. For the ladies: "The right to say 'no' needs to give way to saying 'yes' more often."

I'm not going to go that far. And, I'm going to include men in the mix too.

My advice is to not say that you're "tired" at their suggestion of sex, earlier on in the night, and then spend the rest of the evening watching rubbish TV till 11.30pm, or mucking around in the shed, or playing PlayStation, or to get in bed, and want to talk for ages. You're supposed to be tired.

Sex is a form of affection and love if you're doing it right, and for you to say "No, I'm too tired" if you're not, is comparable to them being "too tired" to snuggle on the couch, or to listen to you. It's a rejection of a showing of love.

The message: if you're too tired, go to bed. Be consistent with what you're saying.

Otherwise, if you're both keen, have some sex.

PS. There's being actually 'too tired', and then there's being 'not in the mood'. If you're not in the mood, make it clear to your partner what they can do to put you in the mood. It's not overly complicated stuff. Sex should be fun and loving, and if it's not, you're doing it wrong.