Just shut up. Go to sleep.

Sometimes it's just best to shut the hell up and go to sleep. Mid argument.

Oftentimes we're tired, tipsy, moody for no reason (MEN TOO) and sometimes we're just spoiling for a fight.

Going to bed and sleeping on things will often resolve them overnight.

Just make sure you're sleeping in the same bed, and give each other a kiss before saying goodnight. Even if it's a closed-mouth one. Just do it.

A night's argument often looks stupid in the morning, because it usually is.

Living together before marriage? Don't. Unless you're engaged.

I've always been a believer, but have had to be careful/tactful as to who I'd impart the following to:

If you live together before you're married, you have a higher chance of divorce, than those who don't live together before marriage.

I was taught this during my psych degree - and the explanation was (in quick, abrupt summary format) that those living together before marriage are more likely to see marriage as 'just the next step', therefore when marital conflict occurred, they'd work less hard at resolving it (because marriage wasn't seen as that big of a deal).

Sounds bloody harsh, but the stats gave it merit.

Now, a new study has just come out of the US estimating that almost 1 in 2 marriages are over, before 20 years is up, and that cohabiting together beforehand, doesn't make THAT much of a difference...

Specifically, the study found that:

Couples who live together before they get married have a 53% chance of making it past 15 years of a first marriage.

Engaged couples, or, those not living together, have a 60% chance.

With such shitty marriage success odds (nearly one in two ending), I'd still opt for the not living together/engaged arrangement. Whatever helps!

Others have made, and will continue to make the argument "Oh, but you don't know what someone is REALLY like until you live together."

Come on. As the relationship progresses I'm sure you'll have sleepovers. I'm sure you'll visit each others' places and see how they live. I'm sure you'll notice their annoying habits. You can't hide yourself for THAT long.

And if you really want to know what someone is like - go camping with them. 

Or, take note of Maya Angelou's advice: “I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

Thoughts? 

Your Future Love's Friends.

I was once in a relationship with someone whose friends I didn't like.

And they didn't like me.

They weren't bad people. I wasn't a bad person. We just had absolutely nothing in common, and it was very obvious.

Consequently, every bit of time spent with them, was spent counting down. Every birthday invitation, and BBQ get-together was met with resistance, as I knew that it would involve hours of scrambling for things to speak of. They were relaxed and party people, I was not.

Which brings me to my advice. When contemplating a new relationship - suss their friends out. It is likely you will see those people every. second. weekend. At least.

You should also look to them as a good indicator of what your potential partner is REALLY like, as per the Jim Rohn quote - "You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with."

Will save you a lot of time.

Don't be a jerk. Say it nicely.

We've all heard it a million times:

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

And we've heard it a million times, because it's true: you really can say most things, sans drama, as long as you say it (all encompassing - body language included) nicely.

So, next time you've got your grumpy pants on with your lover, why not do what my aunt suggests: wrap your arms around them and say: "Darling, it really gave me the sh!ts today when ____ happened, BUT, i do love you just so much" then kiss, kiss. 

You've kept it light and made your point. 

Message sent and received.

Look up! Look up!

"Everyone has an invisible sign hanging around their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' Never forget this message when working with people." - Mary Kay Ash.

Applicable for LOVING people too...

Get up off the couch when your love comes home.

Look at them when they walk into the room. Put the iPhone down. Look away from the TV (that show isn't that important).

Make a HUGE fuss of their achievements (big or small) with: high-fives, silly dances, big 'congratulations!' signs, celebratory cakes - all of that.

Your lover IS important, so make them feel it.

Are you fun, or a pain in the arse?

I don't know about you, but I love hanging out with fun people. 

You know, those who make me laugh, who are playful, those who laugh at themselves.

I used to be a pain in the arse (#fact), but now I'm fun.

Now: 

I high-five.

I sing silly songs about objects.

I wrestle.

I play 'who can throw _____ the farthest?' 

I dance to 'Nutbush City Limits' on the grass.

People like hanging out with fun people. 

Not pains in the arses who find the shit bits in everything. Who sulk in the corner. Who won't go swimming because their hair will get wet. Who won't have a go at something. Who "don't dance".

As my aunt Mary said to me, over and over again, until I listened: "Take those high heels off"...

If you do, you'll become a much more adorable person, which will make it easy for people to fall in love and stay in love with you.

Just shuuush.

One of the kindest things you can do for your partner is to not say "I told you so."

I've never heard anyone say "Thanks so much for pointing out that I was wrong, and that you were right - it makes me feel so much better now that ____ has happened."

They know you were right. You know you were right. They'll love you more for shutting up about it. 

This advice is also consistent with THINK (from Father Pat Connor - Author of Whom Not to Marry) - a way of assessing whether you should say something controversial to your partner.

T: Is it true?
H: Is it helpful?
I: Is it interesting?
N: Is it necessary?
K: Is it kind?

Saying "I told you so" complies with T only. So, best to be quiet.